Allow me to sit on my lawn chair, smoke my pipe and sit by the heat of my garbage can fire, which I have started to start to address the following.

*clears throat* Hello, y’all! I’m not even going to guess when or what time of the day, you decided to read this “PSA.”

As you all may or may not have known, there was a tragedy that took place in Vienna, Austria during the Rock In Vienna festival, on Sunday night. Austrian news site, The Local reported a 47 year-old Swedish man drowned on Sunday night right after the Iron Maiden performance. According to, the man decided to go for a swim on the Danube River to cool down and frolic after Maiden’s performance. Now this is the part where this drunken sack of failings gets concerned: The man was drunk, or so the authorities claimed through, when he decided to go for the swim in the Danube. The tragedy worsened when the Swede was caught in a whirlpool in the middle of the Danube and though his girlfriend made an attempt to rescue him officially died at the hospital after briefly recovering consciousness.

First off, no one parties hard and chugs harder than this mother lover. Despite of how this news sounds like, this walking frat house reject still felt like he had to express some concern. If you guys are gonna drink, be sure to be safe. I, sure as hell, am not the best example of this. I’ve done plenty of things while under the influence. My male stripping career was cut short because of it; damn you, Channing Tatum! Magic Mike was supposed to be about me! Yes, the media may have portrayed this as an irresponsible and careless act because of the events that took place prior to the incident. However, the bottom line is that when figuring out what led to the events prior can be significant factors that can help figure out root causes. In this case, whether this fellow headbanger was really shitfaced or barely had a drop, EMTs and authorities will look at it as a factual and probable key factor to his demise. I’ll digress and leave you with this, have fun and PLEASE be responsible. You live everyday but you die once. As the most interesting man told me personally after seeing my stripping routine ages ago, stay thirsty, my friend but be responsible.

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