Editor’s note: Special thanks to the magnificent flyest dude in San Diego! It’s Chris McFly, duh! Many many thanks for providing all these fancy pics! Love his work as much as much as we do? Need a photographer for your next gig? Check out his sweet portfolio here! And while you’re at it, give him that like on his FB page and follow him on Instagram!
In a venue far, far away… from the Ugh Metal fortress, the sea of Comic Con attendees parted from the Convention Center and were on an exodus to the House Of Blues by none other than Nuclear Blast Records and Court of the Dead. On July 19, we regrouped with Testament after a two-month separation off of their ongoing thrash metal conquest with Slayer. Only this time, the collective enlisted the local rebel known as Carnifex to continue the good fight. But before we could join the fight against the real evil ahead, we had to be inducted in the Brotherhood of the Snake one more time.
Chuggo the Klown: Wow… the Klown has never been a Babylon 5 fan but that was a good intro for… this whole thing. Well done, narrator.
Jenny-Oh: HISSSS! My skin is burning! But so is my blood because this was such a divine show. Testament for the second time this year, two months after we saw them at Slayer’s farewell tour. Who woulda thunk it? The metal gods are so good to us!
C: Yes, indeedy! As y’all read we were led to the House Of Blues to see the mighty Testament. However, Pennywise really smiled at the Klown and his frumpy sister when we got a second chance regarding last year’s Warped Tour’s opening act. The local deathcore act and one of Nuclear Blast’s darlings, Carnifex.
J: At last our redemption was here. We drank it all in and shouted “Drown Me In Blood!” Okay not literally but Carnifex did kick off this special celebration with their hit. My only complaint was that there weren’t any creepy set of twins nor a demented ax wielding Jack Nicholson in sight. *SIGH*
C: Yes… those twins. The Klown still believes that they should named “Hatred and Slaughter.” Despite the Klown’s opinions, Scott Lewis really knew how to stir the pit and heat for that matter. But man did that create a beautiful mess we call a mosh pit.
J: Umm don’t you remember the pit for “Die Without Hope”? I sure do! Well whatever my dented noggin can retain. I didn’t know who was more feisty that night, was it Lewis? That song? The heat? Or perhaps the never-ending lines plaguing Comic Con? You be the judge.
C: The Klown wants to say Lewis was. If his vocals weren’t doing it, then his order for mosh pits definitely would have done it. In fact, Lewis even refused to hold still, showing us that he even had far more energy than a *insert Sci-Fi reference here* because that’s the exact thing that it is.
J: OOOOH I LIKE MAD LIBS!** So you mean more energetic than an Ewok right? Got it. Carnifex ended their guttural reign by paying their respects to the departing thrash titans Slayer. They summoned the infamous butcher AKA “Angel of Death,” and yes, they did justice to this cover and added an extra brutal element and a strong emphasis on the death part too!
**Restrictions apply, only comprehends Mad Libs when intoxicated.
C: Indeed, we bowed to the kingdom of the dead. Of course, the gratitude went both ways starting with the fact that the Klown too would be stoked if he were opening for a legend, in your hometown and during the biggest event of the summer. But as the local Romans vacated the stage, Ugh Metal was ready to re-shed their skin to be re-inducted into the Brotherhood of the Snake. Y’know, the ultimate rebel alliance in the galaxy.
J: The Brotherhood of the reptilian kind welcomed us again for the second time this year! Plus since you’re the biggest snake I know, it made things easier, Chuggo! Testament was so excited to see all of us, they kicked off the night with the theme song of this order. If you didn’t guess by now it was “Brotherhood of The Snake.”
C: Says the scaly one! We even got the theme song for what the Klown can assume is the title of the leader, “The Pale King.” Much like a great King or General of the annals of time, Chuck Billy sang it well and orated the new rebellious inductees with grace and charisma. Billy commended those who attended Comic Con and waited in line for the signing they held at the Nuclear Blast booth and migrated to the House of Blues right after. The Klown also salutes thee.
J: And so Testament awarded us with more classic thrashtastic hymns such as “The Preacher,” and “The New Order.” The benevolent gents dusted off a psalm that they have not delivered unto our mortal ears Klown…well according to Chuck who I blindly believe! Any guesses? TOO LATE! Testament played “Dog Faced Gods” and “D.N.R,” not a bad bargain for those that were sucked into the endless lines in the Con and/or the necessary evil called a job.
C: Right you are, J’Ohkah. But Billy, being the benevolent rebel leader that he is, also made time to venerate our fallen but not forgotten. Before they revealed the song that they were gonna play, Billy gave the backstory of this crowd favorite and its video. Billy shared the funny story with fondness and brought a smile the size of Billy himself on to his face as he reminisced about the adventure in Dallas. The song which Testament dedicated to the late great Big Vin, or appropriately known to you plebes as Vinnie Paul Abbott, was “Practice What You Preach.” Aside from giving the loudest pop of the night, the band cranked up the noise so both Big Vin and Dimebag could hear it from their thrones in Metal Valhalla.
J: *Sniffles* That was deep man! A great commemoration requires a great sacrifice! And so we sacrificed our worn out decrepit bodies to the metal gods by jumping “In To The Pit,” well some of us. I know you are devastated they didn’t serenade you with “The Ballad,” Chuggo. Better luck next time.
C: Not as much as you think. The Klown was, however, surprised that he dedicated one for our beloved clown president of this US of A which is also a favorite for our Tijuanan cohorts who attended the show. If you haven’t guessed by now it’s “Over The Wall.”
J: *removes glasses* And with that we lost our lone reader. Thanks, asshole.
C: You are most welcomed! But on a side note we also got a rank by the end of this induction ceremony on the first night of the San Diego Comic Con, we became official “Disciples of the Watch.” With that said, the Klown would like to thank Nuclear Blast Records for putting on another killer show and Court of the Dead for the awesome limited-edition pins. Later nerds and stay tuned for episode two and three of the SDCC 2018 saga. Let’s face it’s better than the other episode 1-3.