Note: It seems that the Klown and Ugh Metal keep finding themselves in a state of déjà vu when it comes to moving forward in real life. The Klown can only offer his deepest condolences to anyone and everyone damaged in London and in Kabul, Afghanistan. For those unaware an attack in Kabul happened two days prior as of this article’s date. Metal or not, let’s unite under the arts and peace and attempt to unite and pull forward in the face of fear and terror.

Satan’s Dealer Have Blazed their First Stash

The Milwaukeean pushers known as Satan’s Dealer have released their debut album Dealer of the Gods independently. The duo, as if it wasn’t already apparent, produce some stoner metal with some humorous song titles. The album begins with “Don’t Fear the Reefer.” This is, to say the least, some typical stoner metal with frontman/guitarist Jim Powell vocals matching the overall tone and sounds of the song. “Jesus is My Copilot… And We’re Cruisin’ for Pussy” became one of the Klown’s favorites not only is it humorous but it was rather fast paced considering the fact that it was still a stoner metal song.

“I Sold It For Drugs” was also funny as hell and felt like the Klown was listening to an old school GWAR song when Oderus Urungus was young and starting out. Another personal favorite  is “Jesus Loves You… Everyone Else Thinks You’re an Asshole” was like the previous but with doom undertones and a little less humorous. “Nomad” and “Keepin’ It Nasty” will take you back to the days when Black Sabbath was fresh and began to carry the metal banner minus the legendary sounds of Geezer Butler and Ozzy’s legendary vocals. The Klown is usually not big on stoner/sludge metal but this was a good album to hear. The Klown highly recommends this album if you like humorous content with your metal and, especially, if you love stoner metal. You can check this album out in the band’s bandcamp.

5 out of 6 It’s Some Good Shit

satan's dealer

Tankard Lives to Produce Another Album

One of the big four of Teutonic thrash has returned with their 17th album One Foot in the Grave through Nuclear Blast Records. The quartet known as Tankard start this album off with “Pay to Pray” with the brand of thrash they helped create with Kreator, Destruction and Sodom in Germany and features a killer solo from Andreas Gutjhar which can also be said about “Don’t Bullshit Us!” “One Foot in the Grave” gives you some melodic thrash which sounds like an homage to an earlier version of another fellow German metallers Helloween. “Syrian Nightmare” really brings pure intensity and makes you realize why they are atop of a Teutonic thrash throne. The song also serves as a catalyst for “Northern Crown (Lament of the Undead King).”

Tankard revisits the Bay Area with “Lock’em Up!” and “The Evil that Men Display” in terms of sounds and influence. “Secret Order 1516” was nearly 8 minutes and bring pure thrash to the table and has a chorus line that sounds more like a battle cry and another solo from Getjhar. The song also begins and finishes with an orchestral overture of strings and a bit brass for a strong dramatic effect. The album finishes strongly and slightly how it began with “Sole Grinder” by not skimming on the thrash and ends with the sounds of the band members hollering like hooligans at a metal show. This album was pretty good especially if you love thrash metal or if you want to hear some new things from a pack of living legends. You can get this album here.

5 out of 6, Outta the Grave


Flogging Molly Returns After a Long Absence

If you haven’t checked out Ugh Metal in the past, The Trials of March 17 was the first time this Celtic punk band was mentioned. Nevertheless, the Klown was incredibly stoked when the face/voice/guitarist Dave King returned with his sixth album Life is Good through Borstal Beat Records. Allow the Klown to let you peeps know that, for those who listened to the last album Speed of Darkness, this album is livelier and reminiscent to the Float album. For those who haven’t relished the Float album allow the Klown to tell you that the album is lively but mellow by comparison to their breakthrough Within A Mile From Home. With that said this album begins with the dark ballad track “There’s Nothing Left Pt. 1” as an introductory track but then switches to the upbeat “The Hand of John L. Sullivan.” “The Hand…” although it’s upbeat and faster than the prior, incorporates a male chorus and the sounds of the tin whistle, the fiddle and the banjo but slows down a bit during the middle and picks up the pace to end on a high note.

The Klown took a liking to “Welcome to Adamsville” because it was the first time the Klown has heard something different. The use of brass instrumentals made the song far more cheerful and colorful than the Klown expected. Do you need a boost of morale? Then “Reptiles (We Woke Up)” is your song! The Klown thinks this song would be perfect for a movie during a montage of things getting better while “Hope” is an ideal song when you need to listen when you’re in need of some optimism. “The Last Serenade (Fisherman and Sailors)” was a ballad that the Klown can picture being sung at a dive bar near the pier in honor of the sea dwelling professionals.

“The Guns of Jericho,”“Crushed (Hostile Nations)” and “The Bride Wore Black” go full Celt. While “The Guns…” features the accordion and is positive, “Crushed…” not only features the bagpipes, tin whistle and accordion but it was more punk and is a first person anecdote of living through a nation’s power struggle. This album was pretty tits and was worth the six year wait. The Klown will say this with the risk of sounding like a grandpa but this album is definitely going to be enjoyed by an older audience with the added benefit of the angsty preteens and teens who never got to chance to grow up with grunge.  You can get your copy of this album here.

6 out of 6, Life Is Indeed Good


Tengger Cavalry Rides Again

The Mongolian metal horde known as Tengger Cavalry have returned to Ugh Metal and with a new album to kick off their recent venture as a signed band. The Cavalry has returned with Die on My Ride through M-Theory Audio Records. Unlike their last release Hymn of the Earth, the band takes a more of an orchestral and dramatic approach. “Snow” starts the album with the deep but soothing sounds of the cello like Apocalyptica which carry over on to “Die on My Ride.” The latter  and “Me Against Me” also features some piano, Nature Ganganbaigal’s throat singing in English and Asian folk theme. “Strike” features the same elements as the previous song but incorporate a melodic chorus that resembles  a ceremonial hymn, and features a cool but brief guitar solo from Ganganbaigal.

This Mongol horde proving that they have a soft side bust out a song for the ladies and the gentle men with their slow ballad “Ashley.” Unlike most ballads that metalheads are used to hearing, “Ashley” takes a page from pop music starting with Ganganbaigal’s clean baritone vocals combined with a bit of autotune. The song establishes intimacy by using the piano, acoustic guitar, electric drum and cello as the foundation of the song and still manages to incorporate the morin khuur and the igil to keep the folk motif going. “The Choice of My Mind” is another ballad that this album has to offer but unlike “Ashley,” “The Choice…” takes a simplistic approach by ditching the autotune and having a chorus, acoustic guitars, the morin khuur along with the cello, and a bit of cymbals for effect. “The Frontline” and “We Will Survive” feature the sounds most fans of the Cavalry are most acquainted with. This was a great album and it was an excellent way to celebrate their signing. If you don’t take the Klown’s word you can check out their bandcamp and hear for yourself!

6 out of 6, It was a Strong Charge!


Wednesday 13 Has Nothing to Commiserate For

When Ugh Metal reported that Wednesday 13 had officially joined the Nuclear Blast family, the Klown got a little giddy. The primary reason the Klown  was excited was because he didn’t know what to expect this time around from Joseph “Wednesday 13” Poole and his latest album, Condolences. For those who’ve never indulged in Wednesday 13 , the previous album Monsters of the Universe: Come Out and Plague took the approach of UFOs and Cults, while their breakthrough The Dixie Dead was about zombies, relationships and horror movies such as Poltergeist. This time around, Wednesday 13 takes it a bit old school but edgier and darker.

A great example of that is “What The Night Brings” and “Cadaverous” which, after the introductory track, “Last Rites,” transition to a rougher and heavier version of “Watch Out for The Skies” in terms of sounds, specifically Roman Surman’s signature guitar riffs combined with the whammy pedal for the signature b-movie horror movie sound. “Good Riddance” takes an opposite approach in the grieving concept with expressing apathy instead of sympathy and takes a more metal approach. “Omen Amen” and “Cruel To You” revisits Poole’s other known project the Murderdolls in terms of cynicism and roughness. “Condolences” capitalize on the gloomy tones that Poole established by making the song a heavy and dark ballad, and features an awesome solo from Surman and Poole where he uses his low whispers his condolences in the track. The song also had a bit of piano trickled in until you realized that the song transitions to “Death Infinity” without you noticing, which was perfectly executed especially to cap off the album. If you’ve never heard Wednesday 13 before you may want to consider listening after you get your ears on this album. You can get a copy of this record right here.

6 out of 6, The Klown Feels Sorry for your Loss if Haven’t Checked Out Yet!


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