A Note From the Klown: Assuming you’re all still with us, you have all been good sports. Y’know how it is with us Klowns and adulting, once a holiday hits you are practically counting down the hours till you can go on with your bad self! In an act of independence of my own, the trials from before weren’t submitted. So to cap off this sorry attempt of an excuse, here are all the trials that weren’t submitted AND up-to-date release!

The June 24h Trials

Bel’Akor fourth came

For those not aware of Bel’Akor, this quintet from Down Under will sure get your melodic death metal’s rocks off. Their current and fourth album, Vessels, adds a nice little twist to their current collection. Although their previous album, Of Breath and Bone, has been met with mixed reviews, it is considered one of their best album and a breakthrough. So with that said Vessels is not, at all, a bad follow up. Vessels keep you intrigued with an array of sounds. Their tracks, “Roots to Sever” and “Ember’s Arc” will have you reminisce of Amon Amarth. This album is not heavy but rather nice. Almost feels like a more melodic and softer Revolution DNA Sceptic Flesh. Although not the best album, it is definitely enjoyable. As I said before, not a bad follow up.

3 out of 6

be'lakor vessels

Be’lakor’s latest album “Vessels”

The Browning stays fresh with latest

When I first heard The Browning’s Isolation, I had no idea what to expect. Last album, Hypernova, was kind of a disappointment because not only did it feel rushed but it was as if they had forgotten that they were a metal band and not DJs. This new album provides a more aggressive blend of EDM and Metal. The track “Pure Evil” being proof of that, as well as justifying its status as the band’s hit single. Just to close out this album’s review if electronic music of isn’t your thing, this album is definitely not something I would recommend. Otherwise this album is definitely a nice comeback for these boys from Kansas City.

5 out of 6


The Browning’s cover for Isolation looks like their automaton will leave you browning in your pants!


The July 1st Trial

Chelsea Grin will have you grinning with the latest.

Self Inflicted is the latest and fourth installment from Chelsea Grin. The boys from Salt Lake City proved that change and rest is something that can prove vital to an album’s production. Their track “Click Bait” will leave you impressed and baited enough to keep you hooked. Despite this album being an overall satisfying album, it felt like an unnecessary part two to their previous  album Ashes to Ashes. Still, this album is worth the listen.

5 out of 6 

Chelsea-Grin self inflicted

Chelsea Grin’s latest and brutal album “Self Inflicted”

Wolf Hoffmann’s second Symphony

Close to 20 years from his Classical album’s debut, Accept’s guitarist Wolf Hoffmann returns with a neoclassical metal compilation titled Headbangers Symphony. This album is kind of self explanatory as far as content goes. For those who haven’t caught on, however, Wolf pulls an Yngwie Malmsteen and shredding to classical compositions. Wolf kicks off with Ludwig von Beethoven’s “Sherzo” and continues on with a medley of composers such as Vivaldi, Mussorgky, Mozart and Tchaikovsky. This album introduces the true classics and “culture” without having to compromise your tastes in metal. If you’ve never have been exposed to symphonies or Yngwie Malmsteen, this is definitely an album to consider.

6 out of 6


Wolf Hoffmann looks like a maestro brooding for his current (and next?) Headbangers Symphony

Inter Arma’s third has the stuff for Paradise

Inter Arma’s third album Paradise Gallows, has officially come out and has been turning heads. The current single “The Summer Drones,” is definitely a strong enough track to convince you to listen to this current installation. Especially true if you are a fan of Mastodon and sludge. Mike Papparo’s vocals will entrance you as he ranges his own and make them similar to that of Neil Fallon’s vocals mixed with that of Tony “Demolition Man” Dolan vocals and growl. This is definitely a breakthrough album but not enough to be perfect but Inter Arma will have us keeping an eye out for their next album.

5 out of 6

Spellcaster can’t Hide current album from us

Spellcaster has unleashed Night Hides the World that will cast a time spell and take you back in to the time when Helloween and Blind Guardian reigned supreme. Even the track “Nite of the Hellbeast” is a testament of that kind of that throwback. Nostalgia prevails with these it needs some more seasoning or something little more fresh. Yes, it’s power metal but just like any good story that gets told, it can get a little repetitive. Despite that, if you are a fan of Holy Grail and Blind Guardian, it’s definitely an album worth considering.

3 out of 6


July 15th trial

Blood Red Throne definitely will unite our Flesh and Machine with latest

The Norwegian quintet have returned more brutal than ever. With a new album and remind you that Norwegians aren’t just strictly a black metal nation. Their latest album, Union of Flesh and Machine, has pure adrenaline and rhythm coursing through its veins. Hearing this album reminds me a bit of French death metal band, Kronos and their second to last album The Hellenic Terror or All Shall Perish’s Hate.Malice.Revenge fused with a bit of The Price of Existence. A crowned jewel on this album is the death metal cover on Judas Priest’s “Leather Rebel”.



Blood Red Throne Union of Flesh and Machine…. looks like the metal version (get it!) of the Terminator Rise of the Machines

*Chuggo and Jenny Discuss Whitechapel’s Mark of the Blade Over their Afternoon Teas*

Chuggo: So…. I personally enjoyed this album… like A LOT! It’s basically the story of my life. Y’know the one about my former male stripping career?

 Jenny: Ah yes, this album is just wow… it left me just as speechless as the time when you said you sold your prized keg!… But only traded it in for a shinier, younger one. So never mind, this album’s wow factor definitely outlasted that.

Chuggo: So… this album has a good start with “The Void”. Feel like it’s Whitechapel’s way of reminding you that they’re back!

Jenny: Talk about starting with a BANG! And no Chuggo, not talking about your pet squirrel… since you gave me that mother bear look.

Chuggo: Once you get to the “Elistist Ones” …great track, it’s aggression and adrenaline does not go to waste whatsoever!

 Jenny: YASSSSSSS!! I gotta say that has to be my favorite song from the album along with “A Killing Industry.” Those two songs are amazing especially when you’re repenting on the treadmill burning off all those taquitos, mimosas and bad decisions!

 Chuggo: “Bring Me Home” pleasant fucking surprise that one ended up being… my hat is off to you, Phil. Phil Bozeman can sing and it feels like he can serenade succubae back to the deed with that voice of his. Wish this song was going on during my pole dancing routine.

 Jenny: Damn you Bozeman for making me feel… feelings! *GAGS*

Chuggo: “Tremors” was great follow up to “Bring Me Home”, starting slow and building up for a fast track.

Jenny: It was definitely the deliciously brutal storm after the calm… or however that saying goes…

Chuggo: Still felt like “Tormented” was a melodic Meshuggah track. Had that signature, Dick Lövgren bass drop combined with some melodic metal sounds. Good track. “Dicennium”… Jesus, going back to “Bring Me Home”, Phil Bozeman… my hat’s off to you, sir. Great closing track for this album.

Jenny: Yeah, you know it’s always a fascinating to see how a band reinvents itself and it can either be a hit or miss, but well played Whitechapel.

Chuggo: It was all over the place but in a good way. We got to see Whitechapel represent metal the way it is rarely perceived.

 Jenny: Ok now settle down there Chuggo, I know you really liked the album but for the last time, Phil Bozeman will not be reading this let alone invite you back on tour after the last time. But great album!

We the people decide: 6 out of 6, This is legendary it will melt your face off!! 

Whitechapel mark of the blade cover

Gnarly cover for Whitechapel’s “Mark of the Blade”


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