The Hatchet Job: May 11- 15

May 11

Nuclear Blast Will Become Possessed

photo courtesy of their Facebook Page

Nuclear Blast Records won’t exactly be starring in a reboot of The Exorcist but they did something way cooler by signing death metal icons Possessed. The record label along with the band plan to release a full length album in 2018. Another fun fact about this mysterious upcoming album is that it will be Possessed’s first full length album since 1986’s Beyond The Gates… Whoa.

“We are proud to finally announce that we have signed a worldwide deal with Nuclear Blast Records!” The band stated in their Facebook page. “We are honored to be a part of the Nuclear Blast family and look forward to bringing you all our first full-length release in 31 years, sometime in 2018!”

If that doesn’t make you feel all tingly inside then check out the teaser below.

That’s Dr.Professor Holland To Us.

Dexter Holland keeps defying the “stereotypes” and when he isn’t kicking ass belting out his signature vocals in The Offspring, he is out getting Ph.Ds. Holland didn’t just receive the fancy doctor title that comes with the coveted degree, but he received the Ph.D in molecular biology. The frontman stated in The Offspring’s official site that he “was interested in the molecular dynamics of HIV infection and of virus: host interactions in general.” How ‘bout them apples? Holland had put on hold his education after the band reached success with their 1994 album Smash but went back to school about five years ago and it paid off. Dr. Holland will not only be indulging us with more music from the Offspring but will now be helping save lives, on other news Dexter Holland has reached a supreme level in street cred. Think this a joke? Then take a look at his thesis which is titled “Discovery of Mature MicroRNASequences within the Protein-Coding Regions Of Global HIV-1 Genomes: Predictions Of Novel Mechanisms For Viral Infection And Pathogenicity” right hurr. And be sure to send him plenty of graduation cupcakes and balloons!

Dexter Holland: I BE A DOCTOR!

Get Your Shit Together, Bobby!

For those that haven’t been keeping up with Pentagram and their latest misadventures, let me quickly fill you in. On April 20, the band released a vague statement explaining why their front man/living dead man Bobby Liebling wasn’t going to join them on their short East Coast tour as a result of his “personal actions.” Now Pentagram released a statement earlier today announcing they would be embarking on their European tour without Liebling because he was in a detention facility awaiting a preliminary hearing…Umm Okay. But wait! There’s more! So a few hours after that statement, MetalSucks broke the news that Liebling had been charged with three different types of physical abuse on a “vulnerable adult” and one count of first-degree assault.

According to MetalSucks, it is highly speculated that the victim is none other than Liebling’s elderly mother who is in her 80’s. That’s right. Two separate Facebook statements posted by former Pentagram drummer Gary Isom fuels this speculation when he sent out his thoughts and prayers to “Mrs. Diane Liebling… I don’t care for Bobby but his mother is a super sweet lady.”

Bobby boy is no stranger to controversy and has been accused of being a misogynistic douche in the past which raised eyebrows when the female fronted bands King Woman and Wax Idols abruptly dropped off their tour with Pentagram last year. Hopefully the band can soldier on and hope his mother is okay and can recover from this unfortunate ordeal. As for Skeletor..I mean Bobby, you need some serious help.

Yes Bobby, I am talking to you.

May 12

Doyle Says “Run For Your Life.”

Antsy about Halloween taking forever to get here again? No worries! Doyle Wolfgang Von Frankenstein is here to satisfy that urge with his new video for “Run For Your Life.” This slasherrific video will entertain the hell out of you and the song itself will make you want to “fight to survive,” whether you are feeling the urge to tap out on the treadmill or down that extra shot of tequila you know will get you hammered. “Run For Your Life” will be featured in the June 2 album titled Doyle II As We Die out through Monsterman Records/EMP Label Group which is available for preorder. Be sure to catch him on the road starting on June 1 where he kicks off his tour at The Maywood in Raleigh, NC and for my fellow San Diegans, be part of the horrorlicious bash from Doyle at the Brick By Brick on June 17.

Danzig Will Take You On Your ‘Last Ride’ If You Ignored Doyle’s Advice

Who knew Ugh Metal would be hosting a mini Misfits reunion! Well… sort of. Just in case you ignored Doyle when he told you to run for your lives and resumed drinking your 40, Danzig will kill you slowly with “Last Ride.” This old school and somewhat bluesy song will have you blasting it as you set off into the sunset on your bike. “Last Ride” will be featured in Danzig’s May 26 album Black Laden Crown via Nuclear Blast Records. And if you REALLY can’t get enough of Danzig, after pre ordering this album be sure to get your tickets to his Blackest of The Black festival which will be on May 26 – May 27 at Oak Canyon Park in Silverado, CA

May 14

Grindmother: The Movie!

Our Grindmother, yes the same grindcore band by that is fronted by the 68 years young Grindmother and who melted our faces off not long ago, is now turning to their loyal grindchildren to help fund a documentary on Kickstarter. The star of this film will be none other than the Grindmother herself and will shed light as to how she went from being a simple Canadian gam gam to THE badass Grindmother we all know and love. The campaign offers several different perks according to the amount you donate, but if you feel generous and donate $1,000 or more you will have a private screening of the film for you and 15 of your friends and will be dubbed her “favorite grindchild.” The Kickstarter campaign ends on June 26 so there is still plenty of time to help this film reach its $8,771 goal and is currently at $614. Once you give Grindmother dearest some donations in this link, headbang to her album Age of Destruction while you eat the delicious cookies she gave you.  

May15

Myrkur Unveils Upcoming Album Title

Mareridt will be the name of the album Amalie Brunn and Myrkur have been working on. The big announcement slithered its way out of Myrkur’s Facebook page, and Bruun captivated fans with a video clip of her playing Scandinavian folk music on her string instrument called a nyckelharpa. The album will debut this fall via Relapse Records and though the details of the album are still shrouded in mystery including the actual date of its release, it will be worth the wait. Not quite familiar with Myrkur? Check out how the Ugh Metal team fell under her spell last year and check out her YouTube channel too.

We Love Lacuna Coil  “ ‘Cause They Hate You”

JK! You’re our homie… so long as you supply us with booze and burritos. Anyway, Lacuna Coil delivers the crime thriller music video” I Love You ‘Cause I Hate You.” This concept video is a follow up to their previous video “Blood, Tears, Dust” and this track is not only a haunting ballad of unrequited love but it will also have you at the edge of your seat. We follow vocalist Cristina Scabbia as a detective and her partner who is played by UK actor Andrew Harwood Mills and is still way better than True Detective season 2! Check it out this second part of the concept video and be sure to get their latest album Delirium which is out now via Century Media Records!

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