The Hatchet Job of Jan 9-13

Jan 9.

I HAVE FOUND MY SPIRIT ANIMAL

Not all is fun and kawaii in the land of Sanrio. The Japanese company that brought us Hello Kitty have created the super relatable red panda Aggretsuko who struggles with the peskiness of adulthood and a horrible day job…BLEH! Instead of going postal, Aggretsuko does what any sane individual does and blasts some good ol’ heavy metal and has a beer… or three. For my eligible and single red pandas reading this, she is 25 years young and is single and ready to mingle! Oh…what’s that Aggretsuko? Still no luck in finding a decent suitor? Join the club sister. While Aggretsuko and I go drown our sorrows together, give her some love and check her out.

 

Jan.10

‘Sacrificial Kill’ Will Make You Want To Be The Offering

Six Feet Under gave us a taste of what to expect from their Feb.24 release of their upcoming album Torment via Metal Blade Records. If Chris Barnes’ signature barks didn’t make your skin crawl with excitement nor tickle your fancy, Barnes announced in his Twitter account two days before about a song “on the new album that, lyrically, was a sequel to Fucked With A Knife…” I’ll give you a minute to process that and while you’re at it, check out the single to accompany your squeals of excitement.      

Jan.11

We Went ‘Beyond The Matrix’

Nope, no Neo this time. Simone Simons’ powerful vocals, along with the rest of Epica, blasted us through an unforgettable and inspiring journey with their latest music video for “Beyond The Matrix.” The track comes off of their latest album The Holographic Principle which was released on Sept.30 and will guarantee transcendence. I know you’ll be adding “Beyond The Matrix” to you new year, new me gym playlist, and the cherry on top? You can sing along to it once you catch your breath in between your workouts! ‘Cause the powerful lyrics splash on to this cosmic treat.

A Night At The Opera With Dimmu Borgir

Okay, I lied. No opera but an orchestra which is just as bitchin’! The Norwegian black metallers will FINALLY release their anticipated live DVD/CD collaboration with the Norwegian Radio Orchestra &Choir titled Forces of the Northern Night on April 14 through Nuclear Blast Records. This beauty was filmed in Wacken Open Air 2012 and brought to life and according to their official Facebook page the band stated  “And beware… this is not the only gem that the year 2017 holds for DIMMU BORGIR.” YASSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

dimmuborgirforcescover

Jan.12

WE “BLEED THE FIFTH”

Iron Reagan show us how a real good cop and bad cop ought to be! The crossover thrashers released their official music video for “Bleed The Fifth” from their upcoming Feb.3 release of Crossover Ministry via Relapse Records. This fun video is one hell of a ride where you probably won’t be calling shotgun…JK! You know you like the abuse, enjoy it 😉

Jan.13

Me And That Man’s NSFW Video Will Have You Saying Hallelujah!

The highly anticipated Blues project from Behemoth frontman, Adam “Nergal” Darski and British-Polish songwriter John Porter, have finally given us a taste of what they’ve been brewing in secrecy with “My Church Is Black.” This naughty and sacramental offering will be featured in the debut album titles Songs Of Love And Death which will be release in March 24 through Cooking Vinyl. So bust out your best bourbon and prepare to go on a journey.

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