The Trials of November 25

A note from the Klown: My fellow Americans, Happy National Fatfuck Day aka Thanksgiving. For the shopaholics, happy Black Friday! Without you the Klown wouldn’t enjoy the most brutal moshpits he has ever seen. The Klown still wishes to see it happen in real time with metal blasting through the speakers through those crowded aisles but he’ll digress. On that note, that same Friday was also record store day. With that said on to business!

Oni’s Debut Is Indestructible

Oni is the hottest commodity to grace the metal scene since Megadeth released their own beer. The sextet from the Cayman Island (not to be confused with the Icelandic trio) capitalizes their ever growing popularity with their debut album Ironshore. Although the band claims to be Prog metal, after the Klown finally surfaced from the Ironshore one thing was clear, if the Klown listened to this type of “Prog” mosh pits would be commonplace in these generally mellow shows. Nevertheless, don’t get the Klown wrong he still liked what he heard and now understands why the steam they gained became white hot! The tracks “The Science” and “Spawn and Feed” give a dose of that Prog sound Oni claims to be. However, Meshuggah-like influences could be heard from these guys through the tracks “The Only Cure” and “Kanvas.” The rest of the album is a mix of different influences that the band shows off such as “Chasing Ecstasy,” which gave the Klown a glimpse if Nekrogoblikon did metalcore while other tracks contain more groove metal.

5 out of 6, A debut strong as iron!

Oni prove why they are indestructible with "Ironside"
Oni prove why they are indestructible with “Ironside”

 

Martyrdöd have completed their ‘List’ before the year’s end

The Swedish crustcore band is back with their seventh studio titled List and this album was anything but crusty. List was borderline grind blended with some early Norwegian Black Metal sounds. Tracks such as “Wipeout” and “Harmageddon” definitely had the signature punk sounds that originated from the crust subgenre, others such as “List” nearly made the Klown think  he was listening to the opening track to a lost track of Bathory or Rotting Christ. “Handlost Fallen Angel” and “Intervention” definitely had the reminiscent sounds of Darkthrone making this album feel more like an unholy time capsule.

4 out of 6, The ‘List’ is complete.

You'll be rushing to sign up in Martyrdöd's "List"
You’ll be rushing to sign up in Martyrdöd’s “List”

 

Witchery Spawns Its Sixth And Sinful Album

The Swedish quintet of blackened thrash/speed metal is back and has delivered a service befitting to that of anyone donning the stereotype of the metal head. In His Infernal Majesty’s Service is Witchery’s sixth installment so wicked, even the staunch would line up to join the service. Hell, our own pug from hell especially loved the opening track, “Lavey-athan.” (Poor bastard thought it was about him… don’t correct him if you see him.) The Klown’s personal favorite is “Netherworld Emperor,” but “Nosferatu” and “Burning of Salem” tracks can become fan favorites because it resembles a thrashy version of Watain or a new coming of Bathory. “In Warm Blood” and “Escape from Dunwich Valley” fashions itself as a serious version of Ghoul. This was fucking awesome and well done!

6 out of 6 Enlist Us Now!

Witchery binds us to "In His Infernal Majesty’s Service "
Witchery binds us to “In His Infernal Majesty’s Service “

 

GWAR Conquer With ‘Black Friday’

C’mon… does the Klown really need to introduce the Scumdogs from Planet Home? But if he must, GWAR has graced us again with a four track EP vinyl titled Black Friday. This album will bring joy to all the loyal scumdogs, and for the sentimental bunch, a bloody tear to their eye. The reason for that bloody tear is that this is technically Eddie “Oderus Urungus” Brockie’s final album. Although, originally filmed and covered on The AV Club’s Youtube channel years ago, this album is still a treat. Side A comprises of Brockie’s famous vocals and his cover on Billy Ocean’s hit, “Get Out of My Dreams” and The Who’s “Baba O’Riley.” On Side B, current front man Michael “Blothar” Bishop takes over and perform a revamped version of Pet Shop Boys’ “West End Girls,” which they rename “West End Ghouls.” Much like Side A, Gwar transition in to their version of The Jim Carroll Band’s “People Who Died.” This album was awesome and a real treat and not just because it was Brockie’s final recording but because it was showcases GWAR’s ability to reinvent themselves and the songs they slaughter.

6 out of 6, Thank You and Godspeed Oderus!

GWAR bring the real meaning of Black Friday with Side A showcasing th elate great Oderus Urungus, and Side B shining the light on the new leader Blothar.
GWAR bring the real meaning of “Black Friday” with Side A showcasing the late and  great Oderus Urungus, and Side B shining the light on the new leader Blothar.

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